Maria's Last Diet

How to Live a Healthy Lifestyle While You Lose the Weight

by Maria's Last Diet

G. Alan Marlatt, a psychologist working in the field of addictive behaviors, talks about a factor that significantly contributes to ongoing addictive behavior: an imbalance between "shoulds" and "wants". Dr. Marlatt has shown that too many "shoulds" in your life and too few "wants" make you more likely to turn (or return) to an addictive behavior such as overeating.

If you are attempting to stop overeating, but your life is filled to the brim with obligations and demands, then your lifestyle is what Marlatt calls "unbalanced". What's missing is the side of life that contains things you simply want to do, enjoy doing, as opposed to things you should do. Without "the wants" side of life, you are depriving yourself of personal rewards. It isn't hard to see then why you might seek out the immediate gratification of overeating.

It's very important that you let yourself engage in activities for pleasure and self-fulfillment. This is what balances out the external and internal demands, keeps you from feeling deprived, and makes it much less likely that you will feel the need for self-indulgence.

Try this
Ask someone close to you to make side-by-side lists of your OBLIGATIONS (shoulds) and PLEASURES (wants). See which list is longer. What did you find? Is your life seriously tilted toward being a "should" person or a "want" person, or are your "shoulds" and "wants" in balance?

Deciding to Change Your Eating Habits But Haven't Started Yet?

by Maria's Last Diet

The research literature on the way people change is very clear. Deciding to make a change, just deciding to do it, is a very important step on the road to actually making that change. As a matter of fact, key to a successful personal change in a behavior is that you NOT rush into action.

If you have made a firm decision to tackle the weight loss challenge, now it is time to prepare yourself. This is the stage in your change process where you’ll do the planning necessary so that any action you take to lose the weight will be successful. If you were to start dieting, say, without doing your planning and preparation, you would be much more likely to fail.

This period of preparation is transitional. It takes you from making the decision to acting on the decision. During this time you will need to do two things:

1. Strengthen your commitment to losing the weight
2. Develop a sound plan for carrying out your decision and attaining your weight loss goal

In order to do these two things well, you’ll need to consider the following:

• Becoming more and more aware of the negative aspects of where you are now
• Becoming more and more aware of the pros for you of losing the weight
• Making your plan acceptable to you, doable for you, and effective as possible
• Making sure your plan is concrete and includes methods for handling those weak “willpower moments” that always come up when you're dieting

Rest assured that what you have done already is the essential work of making that firm decision to lose the weight. You are on the exact right track. The best thing you can do now is hold off on attempting anything formal with regard to dieting, and pay greater attention to firming up your commitment and mapping out a good weight loss plan.

Dieting with a Friend Leads to Weight Loss Success

by Maria's Last Diet

Do you talk with other women about food and weight? Do you really talk, or do you only speak about it superficially—what diet you are currently on, what you ate today, how you cheated, how much weight you've lost or not lost?

Do you ever really talk about what you go through in relation to your eating and your weight? Do you think you could share your secrets as you diet with another woman? If you haven't done this, it could be a great dieting support system for you.

When you team up with another woman, you can bounce things off one another. You can check out your thinking. You can look to your dieting buddy for new ideas. You can give one another added strength, confidence, and hope.

Here's how to partner up when you are dieting.

1. Decide how you will meet—on the phone, through email, in person.
2. Decide how often you will talk. It's good to set up a special time at least once a week and keep to it.
3. Pick a question of the day to discuss from the following:
   • Do we feel safe enough with one another to really open up?
     You can share your apprehensions about discussing very personal matters and make each other feel comfortable enough to talk about real issues with your diet.
   • How much do we want to fix our weight problems?
     You can confirm your desire to lose the weight and discuss what things about the problem are most troubling.
   • How critical are we of ourselves and others?
     Being self-critical is an important issue for women. You can help by supporting one another and not being critical of one another.
   • What has really been keeping us overweight?
     You can encourage one another to find true answers to your weight loss challenges.
   • How can we best help one another?
     You can ask each other for what you really need.
   • What are our biggest secrets about our eating?
     Sharing those things you are most ashamed of gets rid of a big burden.
   • What's the hardest part of dieting for us?
     You can help one another over all the rough spots.
   • Do we have confidence in our ability to lose the weight?
     Through mutual support, you can greatly boost your confidence.
   • How can we stay motivated?
     Together you can create strategies to help you stick to your diets.

These are conversation openers for you. It is around issues such as these that women can really bond, really support and inspire one another. As you become a stronger dieting team, you will come up with other important questions to add to this list. You will find a deep well of knowledge and strategies to dip into when you pool your resources with another woman in this way.

It can't be stressed enough how important it is to pick a dieting partner who won't let you down. Many times women go on weight-loss diets together, and too often one will do well, one is making a serious effort, and one is not. That is hard on the dieting effort and it can also be very hard on a friendship. This is a serious endeavor and it won't help you at all if the woman you team up with takes it lightly and is not brave enough to explore the issues at hand.

Pick someone you truly like, someone you are comfortable with, someone you think will have the utmost respect for your innermost thoughts and feelings. Choose a woman whom you consider honest and straightforward, someone who will take this journey to permanent weight loss as seriously as you do. Establish this relationship with a partner who is worthy of you, someone who won't judge you, someone who will have sensitivity to what you feel, what you think, and who you are. Choose someone to whom you can say things directly, someone who will be direct with you as well. Choose a partner who is just as interested as you are in having meaningful discussions. Find another woman who is up to your standards in every way.

Body Image Development is a Risky Business for Girls

by Maria's Last Diet

There are several factors affecting body image development in childhood. Three important ones are parents, peers, and the media.

Parents
Parents probably have the biggest impact on how a child feels about her body. If parents comment negatively about their child’s weight, perhaps even encouraging her to exercise to lose the weight, this can contribute to body esteem problems. Another way parents may affect their child’s body image is by voicing their own weight concerns. A parent who is dieting or exercising extensively in order to lose weight can transfer a “not good enough” feeling to her children. A child might then focus on her own body shape and become dissatisfied with it.

Current data about the development of body image in childhood suggests that girls are more focused on having the right kind of body than boys. In order to counter the trend toward concentration on appearance for girls, you can do the following:

1. Encourage your daughter to explore her own physical strengths in order to promote feelings of body competency. For example, encourage different types of body movement such as soccer, yoga, swimming, dance, etc.
2. Make sure you are supportive about appearance and don’t allow any teasing about it in your household.
3. Help your daughter understand what bodily changes to expect during puberty.
4. Appreciate your daughter’s mind, her skills, her ambitions, her ability to communicate ideas, her social skills.

Peers
As early as elementary school, peers have an influence on a child’s development. It is clear that even for the very young child, weight can become a disturbing issue. Peer influences may teach a child about negative stereotypes associated with being fat or even a little chubby. It is thought that sensitivity to these negative stereotypes is greater in girls than in boys.

Media
Children see “the ideal body imagel” all around them. Very skinny girls and women are evident in magazines, TV shows, movies, and the world of pop music. A girl’s belief about herself and how she measures up to “the body ideal” has bearing on her developing body image.

It is a challenge―a very important one―to help your child with a body image problem. It is best to confront this issue sooner rather than later.

A Weight Loss Challenge is Jealous Friends

by Maria's Last Diet

Sometimes we don’t realize how important other people are to us. As human beings we have a fundamental need to belong and to be close to other people. It’s painful to be rejected by your group, to feel disapproval from your friends. This could be enough to prompt you to gain the weight back. Psychological studies have shown that rejection and disapproval are often associated with self-regulation failure as well as self-defeating behaviors.

We all want to belong to groups. We all need to belong to groups. We also have a tendency to keep our own actions in line with the way the important groups in our lives think is good. So, you can see how the cause of your weight gain could very well be the jealousy of your friends. Perhaps without realizing it, you are gaining weight back so they would approve of you once again.

Maybe before gaining the weight back, you can try talking with your friends. You could explain how important weight control is to you and how much you need them on your side if you are to be successful. This should make a world of difference. It might be enough to diffuse the jealousy and bring your friends around to your way of thinking.

Need to Lose the Weight, But Not Ready to Begin Dieting?

by Maria's Last Diet

Why not just go ahead and do it, you say. Don't put it off any longer. Get the dreaded thing started already. You'll feel better, you'll look better, you'll be prouder of yourself, you won't feel as guilty. There are lots of reasons to start dieting ASAP.

However, there is one good reason why you shouldn't go right to dieting: Planning.

Planning makes you feel better prepared and it will lead to you having much more weight-loss success. Among other advantages, planning lets you test out alternatives. Should I do this versus should I do that? What if I feel like this? Can I do that then? Is there something other than overeating that I can do when I've suffered a slight hurt or rejection? If so, what is it, and how can I put it into practice so I won't eat over my feelings?

A weight-loss dieting plan works best when it is as specific as possible. Plans have to be specific if they are to properly prepare you for various contingencies.

Weight-loss dieting plans are different than weight-loss goals. A goal is something we strive for. Finding out how you can implement your goals is what is meant by a plan. You can state a plan in an if/then format. If this happens, then I will do that.

Having a plan and being prepared requires much less mental energy while you are dieting. For example, you don't have to struggle when you run up against a rough situation where your old eating habits want to show up again. Struggling to not be out of control requires lots of mental energy. As you probably know from past run-ins with your willpower, people have only so much mental energy. Mental energy in the form of willpower and self-control breaks down, sometimes in an instant when you're faced with temptation and the coercive force of old habits.

If you've planned for those rough situations, you will find the going a lot smoother. You won't have to struggle to exert self-control. You will already have formulated the alternatives, maybe even tried them out and practiced them as well. This gives you the mental edge over being tempted and using old automatic patterns.

Therefore, if you are feeling the pressure to get started dieting, get started on making your plans. Feeling guilty about not dieting right away is another self-defeating habit that you probably have to plan to change. The rush into dieting without good plans in place will inevitably derail your dieting effort.

For Losing Weight, the Last Thing You Need is a Bad Influence

by Maria's Last Diet

It has been shown that social influences on eating habits are very powerful. Even if your intentions are to stick to the rules of your weight-loss plan, social influences may override your good intentions.

We tend to regulate our intake using the intake of those around us as a guide. In other words, on a diet or off, people follow the example of others. You might put it this way: Your eating habits are influenced by your companion's eating habits.

Doesn't it stand to reason, then, that while you are dieting, it's best not to hang out with people who are into overeating.

Tips for Losing Weight: Goals and Plans Go Hand in Hand

by Maria's Last Diet

When you set a weight-loss goal for yourself, your intention is to reach that goal. However, just establishing the weight-loss goal you wish to achieve is not enough, of course.

One thing you need in addition to your goal is a plan to reach that goal. You need a plan to specify the when, where, and how of your goal path even before you begin the process of going for that goal.

It goes like this. You consider in advance the different situations you will find yourself in as you pursue your goal of losing weight. You can think things like: if such and such happens, then I will do such and such. When you plan out this kind of an if/then format, you will know beforehand how to behave in these situations. So, instead of having to stop and think and come to a decision on the spot about what to do, your pre-planned actions will occur more naturally.

Planning ahead like this will mean fewer mistakes and much less effort on your part. Because you are prepared, you are more likely to behave just the way the situation demands. The net result will be a more efficient and enjoyable trip to your weight-loss goal.

Try this
Trisha has just made an important goal for herself: I am going to try not to turn my everyday frustrations into a snack attack at night.

But she hasn't made a plan yet. Using the when, where, and how concepts can you conceive of a good plan for her goal? (Hint: See if you can anticipate the "high risks" and get Trisha ready to get through them.)

Dieting Willpower - How Can I have More?

by Maria's Last Diet

When you begin dieting, you have good intentions. What you need is a way that lets you go from your good intentions and leads you all the way to finally being a weight-loss success story. It is simply too iffy to rely on willpower alone for your dieting support.

The best way to accomplish your weight-loss goal is by planning out and rehearsing what you will do when you are faced with obstacles, frustrations, and temptations that threaten to topple your best dieting willpower. These are plans which implement your intentions. Plan for those moments when you are in danger of blowing it. The more positive and specific your plans are, the better.

For example, say you are going out to a restaurant for dinner. Instead of telling yourself beforehand “I won’t order dessert at the restaurant”, try this: “When we are all looking over the dessert menu, I’ll see if there’s a nice fruit dish offered. If I don’t see one, I’ll ask the waiter or waitress if I can order something like that off the menu. If there’s no possibility of this, I’ll think about the strawberries and low-call whipped topping waiting for me in the fridge. I’ll look forward to having that for dessert as soon as I get home.”

This is the kind of strategy that gives you strength to stick to dieting. It specifies in detail the steps you will take in a given situation. Utilizing a plan such as this enough times will make it a new automatic action. It will run off without conscious effort on your part, the same way your old behavior of ordering the biggest dessert did. This is one of the best weight-loss solutions: gain self-control over high-risk eating situations and stick to your weight-loss diet. It will save your willpower.”

The Dieter's Cheating Checklist

by Maria's Last Diet

What’s the biggest cause of dieting failure? Cheating on your weight-loss diet, of course. Everyone does it at one point or another along the way. You most likely can’t avoid it completely. It’s hard to be perfect. What you can do is lessen the number of times you cheat. Keep it to a minimum. The more you can stay on your weight-loss diet, the more weight you’ll lose.

An effective way to stall a cheat in its tracks is to stop and think. This is possibly the most powerful technique you’ll ever find. It just takes some questioning, some considering, before you go ahead and plunge into those cookies and chips. Challenge yourself. See how flexible you can be. You don’t need to do what you’ve always done. You can use your powers of thinking before you go ahead and cheat, thus avoiding any self-recriminations and a possible reversal of your weight-loss progress.

Here is a checklist of questions that will steer you to the right kind of thinking. Use this list the next time you feel like cheating on your diet, before you actually do it. You can still cheat if you want to―that’s always up to you. But once you answer these questions, even if you go ahead and cheat, it will be more of a real choice rather than just an automatic reflex.

1. Am I still committed to losing weight?
2. What will the benefits to my life be when I reach my weight-loss goal?
3. Do I believe in my ability to stick to dieting?
4. If not, why not?
5. What are the strengths I possess that can help me stick to my diet right now?
6. Am I feeling very stressed out?
7. If so, can I handle the stress in some other way?
8. Am I tired?
9. If so, can I take some time out to rest?
10. Am I feeling overwhelmed?
11. If so, can I put off taking care of a few things until I feel more capable?
12. If I break my weight-loss diet at this moment, will I feel better or worse?
13. If I cheat on my diet now, will I be able to get back on it?
14. Am I afraid to lose the weight?
15. If so, what am I afraid of?
16. What do I truly need right now?
17. Will eating off my diet plan give me what I need right now?
18. If not, how can I get what I need?
19. What would the people close to me think of me if I cheat now?
20. What will I think of myself if I cheat now?

If you have a problem with food and weight, you’ve probably trained yourself to turn to food at certain times. By now, it is probably a totally automatic response. Use this checklist to retrain yourself. It will help you let go of your bad eating habits. Make sure this list is always handy. Make your dream of losing the weight once and for all come true.